We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
