Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
