No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i now understand why vodka
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
