I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
