and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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