speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
