Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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