We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
