there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
