That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
