I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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