It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
