god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
