Walk of Shame. In a state park.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
