I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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