sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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