So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize