My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
