I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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