Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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