do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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