You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
operation have a gay friend backfired
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
wow bdsm is so cute
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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