don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
