I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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