we're chasing vodka with high fives
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
