Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
