So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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