I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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