Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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