you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
