hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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