Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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