I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
