just come out here and I will go home with you...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
