Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
