thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
