Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
