Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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