Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
another moral hangover. fuck.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
