To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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