a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
