Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
