is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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