Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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