her vagine was all disorganized.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
