I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
