absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
