my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
