were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
