singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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