In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
