no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
