i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
