She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
