I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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