OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
